Bored housewives posing as "caring and compassionate" state legislators with nothing better to do than to discriminate ruled the day in my home state of Minnesota in the year 2005. State legislator and idiot-magnet Michele Bachmann (R - Stillwater) repeatedly attempts to permanently write marriage discrimination against same-sex couples into the Minnesota state constitution. However, thus far, she has failed. However, her "movement" appears to have gained momentum, in the name of, amongst others, her minister husband, who recently convened a local summit for M4M (Ministers for Marriage, not men 4 men - get your minds out of the gutter), proclaiming that the principle of marriage must be "saved" from demonic forces (apparently, loving same-sex couples fit the description in their meek and feeble minds). Also, lesbian in denial, Mary Liz Holberg, is another alleged do-gooder who co-orchestrated the initial legislation, along with Ms. "shit-for-brains-bimbo-with-bad-90s'-hair" Bachmann.
Insert editor's note: Take one good look at Mary Liz, and even you, too, would exclaim "You're so dikey...AHHHHH," just like Margaret Cho's mom.
Truth be told, Ms. Bachmann's real "agenda" is to run against Patty Wetterling for a seat on the U.S. House of Representatives. Right-wing pundits proclaim that Bachmann's repeated endorsement of the hateful marriage amendment has gained her clout in the political arena. Considering that she represents only a small piece of the urban demographic (parts of Anoka county and the riverside town of Stillwater), she is severely out of touch with those of us who seek to preserve the virtues of the MN and US Constitutions. In my mind, the Constitution is founded on EQUAL rights, not special rights. I'd like to hope that more Minnesotans desire fairness and equality, rather than separatism.
It's bad enough that Minnesota is plagued by its dipshit governor, Mr. Tim "I'm gonna cut snow plows from the state budget on the eve of a major snowstorm because I'm an imbecile" Pawlenty, and numbskull state senator Norm "Mentally Malnourished Puppy Dog of the Republican party" Coleman. It's Pawlenty that violated the separation of church and state by allowing the "Luis Pulau Christian Circus Sideshow" to convene on government property, namely the state capital grounds in the summer of 2004. Mr. Coleman was assigned to cover the Democratic Party's National Convention as the Republican roving correspondent on the mean streets of Manhattan last year. In reality, the only reason why he was even there was because he is allegedly the "future of the Republican Party." Personally, I hope that Al Franken puts a stop to that, once and for all.
Anyway, back to the bitch. Bachmann is convinced that legalizing same-sex marriage threatens the sanctity of marriage (which is a tired piece of rhetoric that is unrealistic. Apparently, 50-hour marriages by bimbastic pubescent trendsters does not threaten the sanctity. I'd be curious to see the divorce rates of, say, the town of Stillwater, in comparison to, say, a small town in the state of Massachusetts before and after they legalized same-sex marriages. If you configure registered same-sex couples and allow them the right to get married, I bet that since there are more married couples in the marriage pool, ultimately the divorce rate would not change drastically for the worse. That is what marriage amendment proponents would like you to believe. Also, I'd assume that more weddings would mean increased income for hairstylists, florists, attorneys (assuming that they would be drafting more prenuptial agreements), and caterers, amongst other professionals. All in all, an increased economy benefits the nation as a whole. You would think, anyway.
In my assessment of Ms. Bachmann's intentions, they are purely politically motivated, rather than out of the concern for the "sanctity of marriage." Her efforts to write discrimination into the MN state constitution must be stopped at all costs. If she wins this seat in the U.S. House of Representatives, what makes you think that she would not take her proposals to the national level. People like Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Michael Savage, the list goes on and on....like to rant and rave about how having an opinion contrary to theirs equates to anti-American-ism. But, in reality, that is the furthest from the truth. But, I digress....again.
For me, I am all for healthy debate and for the right to be heard, regardless of stated position on any and all societal issues. However, the straw that broke my back occurred when I was flipping through channels on the small screen television that my Dad used in his office at the parents' house one afternoon back in 2004, and I came across Ms. Bachmann on a local public access station, touting her hate rhetoric. During the course of conversation with the host of this show, she had the audacity to state "It's nothing against gay people personally." In my mind, that statement of disrespect personalized the same-sex marriage debate for me.
I'm still unsure about how I personally view the institution of marriage in respect to my status on this planet as a human being. I'm still learning to be self-sufficient financially, mentally, and physically. However, even if ultimately marriage is not for me, I sure as hell firmly believe that other loving couples who contribute to the makeup of the American family should be entitled to marriage and the legal protections of marriage (regardless of sexual preference.) Delusional "do-gooders" who seek to discriminate and demonize respectable human beings under the guise of religion do not have the right to monopolize the institution of marriage. Listen up, bitch...oh, I mean, Ms. Bachmann..... SHUT THE FUCK UP!
This article completely made my day. Fashion-conscious atheists are rejoicing on Swedish street corners at the newest trend in hipster fashion. Eventually, Cheap Monday denim jeans will grace the legs of hipsters in Seattle's Capital Hill. Have you had trouble finding the perfect gift for the Satanists you know and love? Well, your troubles are over. Before you know it, Jake Gyllenhall will become a Cheap Monday celebrity spokesman. Who knows, these jeans may even spark yet another cheesy and judgmental form letter from _________ (insert favorite Christian watchdog group here). Here here!!
